


Envy

by Sicklywrites



Series: Asha Trevelyan [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, posession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 10:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4301610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sicklywrites/pseuds/Sicklywrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt from Anonymous on Tumblr for "Something which looks good on the outside, but is actually rotten inside."<br/>Angsty as hell I'm so sorry<br/>(Not canon to Asha's story)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Envy

_“Your eyes are red, Kadan. Who upset you?”_

_Who do I have to kill?_

_“Nothing’s wrong, Bull. I promise.”_

* * *

Bull stood in a room he once claimed as his, a blanket of dust over everything inside. As he sat down on the bed it creaked in protest, but it could have broken and he wouldn’t have cared. Break. Break everything. Smash the lanterns into the walls and burn the fucking sheets, kick the wall so hard that the bricks come loose and tare the door off its hinges, throwing it off the fucking ramparts just to watch it shatter.

But he didn’t.

He sat on the bed and held his face in his hands, his entire body aching, a lump in his throat, and his heart shredding itself into pieces.

The room was cold and lonely, frosty air sweeping in from under the locked door, and for a moment his mind went back to her – her arms around him and her breath on his neck, his hand resting in the curve of the small of her back, the other hand fiddling with her tiny magical fingers.

_“I love you, Kadan.” he reminds her. Every time he says those words it never seems as powerful as it does in his head. Never enough to convey how much he really means it._

_She laughs softly against his skin and kisses his prickly cheek._

_“What a coincidence that I love you, too.”_

And then he’s back from that moment, cold and hurt, and she’s not there anymore to take it away. She’s not there at all.

_“Do you think I ever really loved you, Iron Bull? Do you think that I really wanted to spend my life with a man like you? Not even a man – a Qunari. Horned savage. Couldn’t even stick by the Qun. What does that make you, Iron Bull? You’re not even worth the air you breathe.”_

He grits his teeth and his knuckles turn white around the dragon’s tooth hanging from his neck. Tears well in his eye, stinging. It fucking hurts. It hurts more than anything.

Two knocks against the door, the second sliding down, and a whimper.

“Bull, please, it wasn’t _me_ , I promise y-you Bull I never said that!” Asha knocks three times more. _“Please.”_

He can’t speak, only drop the tooth on the bed and stare.

“It wasn’t _me_.” she sobs quietly, and he hears her slide down the door, dropping to the ground. She weeps against her hands, the sound muffled but so clearly there. “Cole told me what I said to you, but I wasn’t there, Bull, I swear it. It was Envy, not me, it was that fucking demon _I swear!_ ” her hand hits the door in desperation. “I love you so much, Bull. Please open the door.”

He stands from the bed and stares a little longer before he approaches, undoing the latch and opening the door. She’s there, on the ground, her hair a mess and her face red. She looks up with the face of a beggar, her bottom lip quivering, her eyes wet.

Without his help she stands to her feet, barely strong enough to stand.

“Envy…?” Bull asks in a whisper.

“A demon, Bull.” Asha nods, “I would _never_ say anything like that. I’d rather die.” He watches her eyes, bloodshot and pleading for forgiveness. “It only had me for a moment, only a day, but it’s gone. I was in the Fade, but I’m out and I’m _me._ ”

“…How?”

Asha swallowed and wiped tears from her eyes with her sleeves.

“Dorian said that Cole couldn’t hear me, and he was shouting. I… I don’t remember what happened, but I’m not in the Fade, I’m here and I love you.” she sniffled, her hands shaking as she clutched onto her clothes. “I don’t even remember it, Bull – and I n-need you. I love you.”

Bull sighs heavily, wanting nothing more than to hide from her.

“You told me otherwise. Your voice. Your face.”

She’s practically begging him.

“Ask Dorian, I’m _me!_ ” she blabbers, “They killed it! You would have seen it if you didn’t lock yourself away!”

He remembers kissing her, and how it felt different, unresponsive. Like there was something wrong with the world and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Without a second more of thought he reaches to her arm and pulls her close, pressing his lips against hers, feeling her tears wet on her skin. _And she’s there,_ it isn’t different, and nothing is wrong.

When he breaks the kiss she stares up at him, confused, until a sad smile creeps up on his face.

_“Kadan.”_


End file.
